Firstly I wish to emphasis that I have a reasonable healthy sense of self, I'm mostly happy with how I look and my body shape is not something I have more that fleeting thoughts about, even as a teenager it wasn't something I agonised about but the words of two pivotal family members (both now deceased) were said and they were believed. I thought that I was a "big boned girl like my grandmother" that I "was chubby" and had "big thighs" and that I was often "putting on weight". Whilst I didn't allow these comments to overly bother me, nor were they a major focus of my teenage years, I heard them and they were believed. For decades I had a perception of myself that wasn't true!
I initiated a conversation with my mother on the topic this week and she alternated between being horrified that unbeknownst to her I had held this perception of myself for all these years and the ludicrousness of my younger self image. "But you were a skinny child and a skinny teenager!" she kept exclaiming. "Why have we never discussed this?" she wanted to know.
"Because there wasn't anything to say" I answered, "I thought it was just obvious I had big bones and fat thighs". She is torn between being bemused and horrified that this "skinny child" thought she wasn't.
|As a teen with my baby brother|
*I wish to clarify I see beauty in all 'shapes and sizes', this post is more in the nature of addressing mis-perceptions of one's image.